The Dumpster behind McDonald’s

This charming locale offers a cornucopia of delectable delights. From the fatty remains of recently-expired burgers to grease-laden overcooked French fries, the variety of foods on offer ensure that your taste buds will never tire of this eatery. Located in downtown Palmer, the crowds can often be imposing, so arrive at first dawn to try and beat the rush. Be on the lookout for specials: when the lid is off, everything must go! Beware of the midweek garbage collection day and plan to dine the day before. This restaurant offers no organic options.

***THREE STARS

The Glenn Highway

This bistro offers a diverse selection of all-natural meals. The wait can be long, but with a little effort, the patient eater is rewarded. We recommend flying low along the highway between Palmer and Eagle River. Keep an eye out for arctic hare, porcupines, ground hogs, squirrels, and The Glenn Highway’s special entrée: moose. Be sure to act fast when you spot dinner, your squashed sustenance will not remain intact long if it sits in the middle of the road. Drag what you can to the road’s shoulder and enjoy your meal while soaking up views of the Alaska Range to the north and the Chugach National Forest to the south. But be careful: if you hear the hum of tires on a rumble strip, hit the air.

***THREE STARS

A Moose Carcass near Hunter Creek

Though this café requires considerable effort to reach, its bounty is unparalleled. In spite of offering only one simple dish, A Moose Carcass near Hunter Creek is the premier restaurant in the Mat-Su Borough. Finding this place can be tricky, so make friends at your local nightly roost and keep your ears open for directions. Once you visit and have your fill, be sure to tell your companions as this café survives solely on word-of-mouth advertising. To keep things interesting, this place has been known to relocate nightly at the whim of a local bear. We recommend visiting in the winter while the bear hibernates. Due to its rustic setting amidst an assortment of hungry predators, exercise caution if you are the first patron of the day.

*****FIVE STARS

The Woods of Spring Creek Farm

This restaurant is an old standby of local cuisine culture. Replete with grains and berries, this location caters specifically to the customer seeking something a little different than the usual fare. Additionally, The Woods of Spring Creek Farm offers a unique you-kill-it-you-eat-it option for those seeking fresh shrews and voles. Be advised, this restaurant is often stalked by bleary-eyed graduate students clutching pens and notebooks who insist on staring at you while you eat.

****FOUR STARS

-Chris Eversman